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Professional counseling and self-help programs can be a big help when you need to change your expectations of the relationships you are in.If you are in a relationship where it seems that you have no time to yourself, chances are you have a controlling boyfriend. There is no more “girls night out” for you and your friends, unless he is with you. When you do go out, it is to an event that HE chooses.In March of 2010, in Los Angeles, Ca at PRAASA, ( a Pacific Regional Area Service assembly) –( nine states and 15 regions) after much pushing on our part, the chair gave a late night round table entitled, “Sexual and Financial Predators in AA.” 130 people packed into a room. Fact: Judges are sentencing sex offenders and violent criminals to AA/NA meetings unknown to the general public and also unknown to most 12 step members) It pushed me over the top. Thomas B., the AA Area chair was not helpful and so was the district chair a … As they read the literature from 1935 which is done at every meeting, I looked around and watched them chanting and nodding their heads up and down. All the work I did on the inside of AA trying to make it safer, how much push back we got at every level and how I finally decided to leave AA (may 2011) so I could do more productive work and make a film exposing AA and what the truth is about this Institution that is so highly regarded and so widely used in rehabs.Many were turned away because there was no more room. The Spanish contingency sat me down and translated as I talked about what we were doing and trying to expose. That men with many years, old men, were taking young women, middle aged women, any women, up into the mountains to read them their 5th step. ” And the old lady with her heavy accent said, with that look in her eyes like” you know” “They make them have sex with them after they read their 5 step! Then Herbert Tracy White was murdered by a couple in downtown Los Angeles, CA., who pretended they wanted help as addicts. She tells my whole story and weaved in and out of others who tried to make it safer and others who were 13 stepped.But even the women in my group began to ice us out. I am busy making my film called The 13 Step to be released hopefully in December of 2013. I have learned much about many of you on the phone, emails and skype and private emailing.Kali moved back to where she came from and I began to hear the readings with a new light. There were even meetings were “they tied people up against their will” they said in Spanish as she translated. In the workshop at the very end a young spanish speaking woman told how she had a friend who had recently killed himself because of this 13 stepping. I had an earlier version of my pamphlet and we gave them out. I attended Smart Recovery and SOS meetings and I loved them. I have learned so much about the judicial system, DUI’s, Court ordering, what are my rights, your rights, how bad the sexual predation is, how bad the controlling sponsor thing is, how ridiculous the free promotion by stars in Hollywood is, how AA is dishonestly depicted in TV and movies…Then I was on Katie Couric on ABC talking about it with Gabrielle. Join me in a movement that is growing, so that millions can find the other free options, the use of science based therapies and medicine such as Naltrexone and stop the madness of using a 75 year old religious conversion laypersons support group for a serious health issue.

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As the months rolled by, I got a gig singing in a hotel that made me very happy. Now, I spend my nights with my family, new normal friends, going to movies, listening to live music at clubs, writing, blogging, cooking, being an activist for victims in AA and watching my favorite TV Crime Shows or Documentaries!However, when you are in a relationship, those feelings should subside.For some, the fears go away without a second thought. That is the main reason a boyfriend can become a controlling nightmare.Some of you are here for the first time and are wondering why would someone have such a blog. However, I did label myself this stupid word for many years and I did not drink a drop for 37 years. My blogging name is “massive” In the summer of 2008, someone very close to me was drinking out of control. He was drinking and pill popping and was showing signs of being mentally sick. He once wore a Brooks Brothers suit, worked for Pfizer, was college educated, a NY cop, he took us to the Jersey Shore to Surf (awesome) he taught me to swim at age 5. a man who had been an AA trustee and a previous delegate. It was filled with creepy 50-60 year old men, chain smoking and glaring at the young new hopeful twenty something’s who still had no self esteem. In the mean time, my estranged DAD shows up back into my life after being gone for 12 years.It is hard to pinpoint the answer to why this behavior exists, but, if you feel as if you are being controlled, being able to identify the behavior is your first step to freedom.